I wasn't even going to write this until my best friend literally commanded me to go journal. Though she emphasized that I didn't necessarily have to blog, she insisted that I journal in some form.
In all honesty, I've been avoiding writing because I have been afraid of what the process unleashes. Writing for me is peaceful and cathartic, but also sometimes violent, passionate, scary, and maddening. My experiences are already so intense and writing about them brings that intensity to a whole other level. In one sense, that's is incredibly frustrating to admit. But on the other side, it's validating. It reminds me of Langston Hughes when he said something to the tune of- writing poetry is like trying to catch fleeting moments and put them to paper. Something like that...
I've been afraid to catch my words and put them into paper, for the fear of burning the page, my pen, and everything else in the way.
So much of 2015 has already been about pushing myself out of my comfort zone and continuing all the growth that occurred in 2014.
This post is just me warming up. I haven't flexed my writing muscles in a really long time, with the exception of 1. a few poems I've written about/to my father and 2. beautiful one-liners that enter my consciousness, mostly in the wee hours of the night.
2014 was about shedding layers.
2015 is about liberation.
And liberation requires many things- sacrifice, new ideas and strategies, battles, and change. And I feel ready for these things.
I think another reason I've been struggling to write is that I feel kind of dissatisfied with the blog. I think it needs some re-purposing. I think I need some re-purposing. So I've wondered whether it's worth it to continue writing on this blog or to start a new one or what.
And this whole issue has to do with a few questions I have for myself.
Am I a writer/story-teller?
Am I a (future) doctor?
Am I a business woman?
Am I a student?
Am I an artist?
Am I an interviewer?
Am I a plant lover/curator?
Am I a global health leader?
Am I a social activist?
Of course the answer to this is a resounding "YES!" to all of the above.
But my questions is "How?" And how to be all of those people and represent myself in all of those ways in this life and on this blog in a way that feels cohesive and genuine and not all over the place.
What is my craft?
What do I have to offer the world?
What makes me Naika?
The big questions.
to do work in Haiti and within Haitian communities
to write and create
to heal people
to create meaningful change
to engage in mutually benefitial creative partnerships with others, especially Haitians
to constantly meet new people
to explore the arts and other cultures, and document my experiences
to start a successful business
to work in international health, and help create real changes in people's health outcomes
to be a part of like-minded communities
to brand myself in an authentic and cohesive way
I want it all. And part of the task of liberation will be working up to having it all. A big part of achieving, I believe, is setting an intention, and I guess that's what this post has evolved into.
So, to my loyal and committed readers, hello again. To new readers, welcome.