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11.30.2013

The Struggle Continues, Victory is Certain

A really short paper I wrote for one of my classes, with one of my favorite teacher-mentors. Feeling lucky that I am even taking a class like this in a school like this where I can talk about things like this.
Stay engaged,
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This quarter has been a deeply reflective and spiritual one for me- and I hope subsequent quarters will be similar because I have never felt more challenged and inspired at any given moment. I see magic everywhere and I pay witness to my own growth every day. I surprise myself so often that I wonder who I was, who I am, and what happened in between.  I feel like I am finally starting to find answers to the difficult questions.  In fact, I am asking even better questions. What am I doing? Why am I here? Will I make an impact? How am I going to get through this? Am I a phony? What lies on the other side? What is healing? Am I honoring my destiny?

Part of what makes this year special is that I’ve realized that life is a struggle, and for some reason, I have made the decision to really embrace that. I no longer fear struggle or resist it. I let it be and try to move through it.  I’ve made the decision to ride the wave and trust the wind to take me where I need to be. Somehow, I always end up in one piece and in the right place. Farther from the safety of the shore, but deeper into the possibilities that the open ocean offers. The wind knows something I don’t.

While writing this paper, I looked back on the paper I wrote last year entitled, “Giving Yourself an A”.  Every word I wrote still rings true and in some really definitive way, that shows me that I am on the right path. The main theme of last year’s paper was of victory over the great obstacle that is medical school. I realize that the obstacle isn’t actually medical school- it’s the stuff that happens while in medical school AKA life; low self-esteem, parents dying, triumph, friendships changing, artistic development, health fluctuating, criticism- and everything in between. It’s all a struggle. It’s growth. It’s pain. I finally understand why they call it growing pains.  It hurts so much, but it’s part of transformation.  

I think back to one of my favorite Latin phrases, “Aluta continua, victoria ascerta”, which translates to “struggle continues, victory is certain”. I guess what I am really saying is that struggle is necessary, but by working through it and embracing it, we achieve a certain victory. So, I guess I mean I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I can’t wait to read this paper at this time next year. Aluta continua, victoria ascerta.

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